Thursday, 13 December 2018

Independence Means You Have Failed

All my life I have heard Independence held up as one of the greatest ideals of our age. Men, but particularly women, should be Independent, that they should not be reliant upon any other person. Independence meant that you are free and freedom meant that you never had to compromise. What they never talk about is the cost of that freedom.

To be Independent means that you must have a well paying job, it means that you live alone, it means that relationships are of little to no importance, it means no marriage and it means no children. Look at television and movies and you see this Independent character everywhere. In fact they are the modern standard. In older films, particularly the 1930's and 40's you also see this character, but in these older movies they normally cease to be Independent by the end of the movie. Not today.

Today Independence is portrayed as heroic, the lone hero holding out against the human cruelty of the world. I even see people passing along to each other samples of this idea. That women shouldn't need men, that men don't need women, that man and woman are the natural enemy of the other. That love, trust and hope in the opposite sex is only for fools.

But it is exactly the opposite that is true, to have any measure of success in life you need to love and to be loved. It is healthy and natural to want and to need another person in your life. To love them, to trust them and to share a dream together. To put it bluntly you need to become dependent!

Dependence is what is missing from our world. It means being connected to someone deeply, it means that instead of trying to be everything you have a partner that you can share the burden with. That burden is real and at times it feels like it will crush everything from you, your hopes, your abilities, your very life. In this life we need others.

 Loneliness is not a reward, carrying the burden of life alone is not a reward. Do not let them win, do not follow their bad advice, they are not on your side, they do not have your best interests at heart. They want you alone, they want you sad and dependent not on someone that you love but on them. Fight them for your sake and for ours, fight them because of your ancestors and fight them for your future progeny. Because if you don't the future cannot exist.

If you ever find yourself Independent then you have failed., take it from one who is.

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