Both men and women were once children and mostly we leave our childish nature behind as we grow. However both sexes continue to have a portion of their childish nature.
For men it is our love of toys, games and competitions. We love sport, gambling and our hobbies and toys. Now some men might take exception to that. But any tool that we do not need for our job is in reality a toy, cameras, guns, if you own a boat and your not a professional fisherman than it's a toy. Hardly any man does not have a love of these things and for women it is inexplicable, frustrating and intriguing. Women often cannot work out why men spend so much time, money and effort on things that don't have any benefit. Although this also shows men creativity and romanticism. Because believing that you can have the definitive collection of Albanian stamps is form of romance.
Women are much more practical and therefore correspondingly unromantic. But the thing that women carry over from childhood is testing limits. Children start off very small and entirely dependent. But by the time that child reaches adulthood, they should be able to operate mostly independently. Children get from being totally dependent to mostly independent by pushing limits, physically, emotionally and intelligently. Anyone who has experience with children will be familiar with this, the seemingly constant need to say no, to correct behavour, to stop yourself from automatically saying no. Parenting is a hard job and this constant testing is one of the reasons for that.
But women never stop testing, they are very good at making quick character judgments and so they use this skill. And women never tell you that you are being tested, just to be even more confusing women are so used to testing they are not always aware that they are testing. So what are women testing for?
They are testing to see if a man fails, they don't want him to fail but they need to know if he will. To give an example, a man approaches a women he doesn't know, at some point in the conversation she will stop talking and look down. It is a test to see what the man will do next, many men fail this test because they assume that she isn't as interested as he first thought. But she wants to know if he is a leader, will he take control of the situation or will he not know what to do? To most men this seems unfair, it would be easier if she didn't test him or if he knew he was being tested, but that is part of the test. A man who complains or trys to find out if he has passed has automatically failed.
Women want a man who knows himself, who is capable of leading and who doesn't want her to lead. The truth is that women don't want to lead, but they don't want to be bossed around either. So they continue to test men over and over again, even when it fails to serve any purpose, even when it is actively harmful. It is not uncommon for a women to test a man without even consciously knowing it, but she will know when he has passed or failed.
Let me give you an example. It is no secret that women like to both talk and to complain. Most of the time it is simply about communicating what she thinks or feels. However sometimes she will slip in a test. You have been saving to buy a rare Albanian stamp and she complains about you spending money on something so stupid. You ask yourself if maybe she's right. Here's the test, is there a real reason to spend the money on something else? Is your house going to be foreclosed on? Is there a medical problem that needs addressing? Is your Mother going to thrown out of her aged care facility because you haven't paid the bill? In other words is there a real world problem that could be fixed by that money instead of buying that Albanian stamp? If there isn't and you instead don't buy the Albanian stamp and spend it on something she wants, holiday, kitchen extension, a pony etc. Many men would think that they passed the test, but they didn't.
There are two tests and both are testing your leadership, or to put it more bluntly whether you or your wife has your balls.
Test 1: There is a real world problem that could be solved by not buying the Albanian stamp.
You pass if you didn't buy the Albanian stamp, a real leader does not put himself first but instead looks after those he is responsible for.
Test 2: There is no real world problem that can be solved by not buying the Albanian stamp.
You pass if you buy the Albanian stamp, a women will not respect a man who gives up on his passion. It shows that he is weak, doesn't know or trust himself and if he can give up that passion what is to stop him from giving up his passion for his wife or family.
Women test because they are insecure, they need that constant reassurance that her man is strong enough to protect and support her. She experiences strong emotions raging inside of her and that scares her. She is continually questioning herself and she extends that to the man in her life. She needs to know that he can cope with her emotions. It is why women think they want men to be more emotional but hate it when they are.
This continuous testing puts an undue strain upon men and relationships. It is not that women test men, it is not that men do not know that they are being tested, it is that it can be done so often that a man has no choice but to fail. That disappoints women and they then make sure that men are disappointed. The more that both men and women know about testing I think the better it will be for both sexes.
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